Withdrawal symptoms

October 4th 2021– the day social media went down. Instagram, whatsapp and facebook. At first (like many others, i’m sure) I thought it was just my phone that broke. But after turning my device off and on again an inordinate amount of times and trying an old fashioned text and phone call, I soon realised it was problem something wrong at Zuckerberg’s end.

Even then, I had this real sense of peace. Like the world was suddenly put back right to the way it should be. It was then that I contemplated again about reviewing giving up some (or all) social media platforms.

Fast forward to New year’s day 2022, and I know it’s time. I’ve been planning to delete instagram on a number of occasions. I have given it up for month long periods but always come back to it. I know for me and work stuff deleting Whatsapp right now just isn’t possible, and Facebook just doesn’t take me interest in the same way at all. But Instagram I just can’t seem to stop. I’ve watched the documentaries, The Social Dilemma; I know it’s bad for me, the quick-fix dopamine hits, but I keep going back, time and time again.

So that’s it. 2022. I’ve pulled the plug.

I’m expecting more time, more meaningful relationships, less jealousy and more self-assurance that i’m not just loosely staying in touch with a plethora of acquaintances.

Here’s what I’m actually experiencing: withdrawal symptoms. I keep picking up my phone and going to tap the app that no longer exists. I think like any addict I just keep imaging going back, that it won’t be ‘that harmful’, after all, it’s not heroin. I want to wake up in the morning and watch stories of friends in Vancouver and Sydney that were uploaded overnight as I drink my morning tea. All I want to know is what’s going on with people, but without having to ask them.

I wrote that last bit a couple of weeks ago, and it is getting easier, but I still feel somewhat detached from the world. It’s not become my normal quite yet, but then I am comparing 10 years of instagram to one month without, so that’s hardly surprising. The withdrawal symptoms are lessening, and I have found that I am far less likely to pick up my phone when I am spending time with people which I am really starting to see the value in. Looking forward to a time when I no longer feel out of the loop because i’m so comfortable with this new way of life.